Step 1 - How do I start?
Mind your thinking
Keep in mind that all your thoughts during the day affect your future thinking patterns. If you often think judgmental thoughts about yourself or about
others, then you reinforce your aptitude to judge in the future. If you avoid judging thoughts then this aptitude becomes weakened. All this has to do with
the preference of the brain to re-activates the most commonly used brain paths. What you practice grows stronger!
This phenomenon applies also when exercising meditation of course. Therefore, you should avoid judging and valuing the sensations and thoughts that comes
up during a meditation exercise. Judgemental thoughts prevent access to the areas of the brain that raise the quality of life. Therefore exercise
curiously, non-judgmental and without expectations. According to Buddhist tradition, our suffering is caused by a dissatisfaction with the way life is
right now. Can we train our brain not to have expectations, then we can reduce this suffering.
" Each thought brings a response in the body."
Make a rutine
Keep in mind that meditation is all about practice!
The more hours of practice, the greater transformation, but put up a reasonable timetable where there is room for an increase later on.
Start slowly and take it step by step, but try to fit in some exercise every day. Practice with curiosity and without expectations.
Consider quantity rather than quality
Thoughts of quality will often bring performance and expectations into the picture, as a negative impact. Let a completed meditation be forgotten.
No matter how the meditation went, you have most likely been present in the moment during some moments. These moments have reinforced the neural
pathways in the prefrontal cortex, which will help you to go deeper and deeper in future meditations. So avoid having a quality desire and instead put
in a "quantity gear" (but take it easy in the beginning ;)
Ignore thoughts about right and wrong
Don't take "rules" about meditation so seriously, at least not in the beginning. Thoughts about how things "should" be, often creates stress
and obstruct what the essence of meditation is: An objective observation of the present moment. Perform the exercises as simple as
possible without much thought. Just sense and experience. Don't lose contact between head and body. Sense the bodys contact with the surface it's
resting upon, i.e. keep yourself "grounded". Let the feelings you sense to come. Don't make any resistans.
Keep a soft belly during meditation. Don't make meditation a struggle. Let your body rest heavy, without tension and try not to judge yourself
when you have e.g. judging thoughts about your judging thoughts. Observe it, let it go and move on.
" Everything that keeps you away from being yourself, causes stress."
Now it's time to start
Experiment with what form of meditation that serves you best and which one will best fit into your everyday life.
Regularity, patience, trust and kindness are key words.
Link to educational and de-dramatizing example of: meditation basics
Additional links to educational film clips: Example 1
An introduction in mindfulness can be performed in many different ways:
- An introduction course in mindfulness. The effect from the group dynamic and the verbal instructions from an educated teacher,
makes this choice no 1.
- Guided meditation (through app, youtube, random example... or similar.
- Guided yoga (through app, youtube, random example... or similar.
- Meditation on your own without guidance. Sitting, laying or walking meditation
(Example... of sitting meditation practice and other initial exercises).
Trial and error
Note that there are many ways to increase self-awareness and well-being.
There is no right or wrong way to go. Just as long as it include a choosen focus, on purpose in the present moment.
Various forms of awareness serve different personalities.
You can practice mindfulness in all sorts of activities. In everything from mental training in sports activities to very disciplined mindfulness
in certain Buddhist divisions. Chose between stillness and movement and alternate the types as much as you like.
There are a variety of meditation exercises to serve everyone.
Silence can be a challenge
To practice meditation in silence is often more challenging than guided exercises or exercises that focus on sounds for example. One main
reason is that we are unaccustomed to be exclusively in the hands of our own thoughts. Today we are so used to disperse /distract ourselves
with television, smartphones or conversation for example. I.e. anything to (unconsciously) avoid observing what goes on in the mind, because
that can awaken painful memories and uncover negative thoughts about how we see ourselves. If there are no diversions available and our only
companion is the silence, then there is no other way to go but into ourselves.
Someone might recognicze this: "I must have something to do in my spare time. If I just sit still, I go crazy."
Some organized group exercises that lasts for several days (so called retreats) are held in silence. Some people just love to be in silence for a
longer period. Both for the liberation to avoid small talk during meals for example (that our culture encourages us to), but probably mainly to help
maintain the presence that is gradually built up during the retreat. A conversation may unconsciously be a way to avoid having to listen to
your mind and what the rest of the body is trying to convey.
It is also a great challenge to maintain open in a conversation in the beginning of meditation practice, because it is difficult to avoid falling
into old patterns when you start to talk to someone.
An example of an old pattern is to talk under a false identity (because we do not think we're good enough as we are). Silence is also critical
to consciously understand what happens in the mind. Without this awareness, it is difficult to identify what inhibits personal growth.
" The joy lies in the present moment!"
Not just focus on the breath
Mindfulness is often associated with sitting meditation with focus on the breathing, but mindfulness can be practiced everywhere:
When you wash dishes, brush your teeth, clean, cook, eat, waiting for the bus or during interactions with other people.
It's all about focusing on one thing at a time without feeling stressed. Forget the myth that it is efficient to do many things
simultaneously (multi-tasking).
So the next time you wash the dishes: focus solely on washing and facilitate gladly your focus through the washing as if you are doing it prior to an
important visit. I.e. the washing may take a little extra time because you do it carefully and deliberately.
When you're waiting for the bus: try for example, to feel the contact surface of your feet. Feel the body weight against the ground.
Move your upper body from side to side and feel how the weight is distributed on both feet.
" The is a greater trust for people who doesn't pretend to be perfekt!"
Awareness
But today, most people are not consciously present during everyday activities. Our thoughts wander off uncontrollably
and we often realize that we have forgotten what we are doing...
Meditation practice is nothing strange. Everyone is present in the moment every now and then, but usually without being aware of it.
It may e.g. be when you go fishing or when you experience beautiful nature.
In moments when you neither worry about the future or dwell on things that has happened, then you are present in the now. When you're
rapt up by something you're passionate about and time flies, then you're mindful. You don't have to meditate or practice yoga to be mindful.
Everything that is so amusing that it makes you forget time and space and your worries, help you to be here and now.
When you are "in the experience," then you're present in the moment.
Then you are mindful. Simple as that.
" When you're doing something you really love, then you're often mindful without thinking about it."
Not as simple as you might think
So even if we are unconsciously present or consciously practicing mindfulness, then the quality of life is
enhancing. However, during most of our duties, we are unfortunately not in the present moment. We are busy planning ahead or remembering the past.
Meditation practice is just about consciously direct the attention on what you do or what you feel in your body, without judging or evaluating what you
are experiencing. But it is not so simple to be mindful. It is a challenge to turn from a fragmented to a present existence.
Practice e.g. during your next conversation with someone, to be present and really listen to what the person wants to say, and take the
opportunity to appreciate the company.
" Most people don't listen with the intent to understand. They listen with the intent to reply." Stephen R. Covey
Meditation practice is about comming close to the experience. To be in the experience.
When you focus on e.g. your breathing, body sensations, sights, smells or sounds, you go from stress (the head) to the present moment (the body).
So the phrase: "to be in the body", means that with mindfulness you obstruct the thoughts of the past and the future (which cuts off the emotional connection between the brain and the rest of the body) and instead open up to be able to feel and experience the entire body.
Anchor yourself in the now
Try to let your body be included in the general feeling when you take your daily decisions. Small and big. It's easy to detect when only the
head is active and the link to the rest of the body is cut off. Then your thoughts gets pulled away without you knowing how you sit, if your
breathing feels at ease, if your heart beat is calm or stressed, if you're hot or cold, just how you feel in general because you lost your "anchor"
to the present moment.
Regain a stable anchor by breathing "through the body". Begin to breathe with the belly as the focus point. How does it feel in your stomach?
Pleasant, tense, restless or calm? Continue by breathing "through the heart" and experience what it feels like there.
End the exercise if it feels too uncomfortable, but please keep going if it feels manageable. The discomfort will gradually come to an end if
you keep observing it, breath into it.
Friendly focus
The fact that thoughts unexpectedly pops up when you consciously try to focus your attention onto something, is quite natural. It is the
default mode for the mind to be all aver the place all the time. This phenomenon even has a name: approach and avoidance.
The important thing when your mind is wondering off, is that you just kindly observe the thought when it arrives, without judging or evaluating it
and then you go back to your attention on your chosen focus.
If you try to push away the "unwanted" thoughts that pops up, it'll only create more stress. Receive the unwanted thoughts with a smile,
investigate them and you will find that they will disappear by themselves.
However, have respect for your own limits. It is important to listen to yourself both in terms of challenging thoughts and challenging movements (yoga).
